Books to Help You Live Well
Reading can be a wonderful way of engaging with oneself, with relationships and with life. Below I list books across a broad range of themes (e.g., relationships, personal growth, theology, philosophy, etc.), with the shared elements of illustrating truth about the human experience and somehow being helpful in living well. I have included some works of fiction because of the way that good stories can capture our imaginations and help us to grapple with what it means to be human and to be whole.
Please Note: My including a book does not automatically mean that I endorse all aspects of it—just like with people, books are imperfect. With any of these, I encourage you to look for the elements that are helpful, recognizing that you will undoubtedly encounter things you disagree with (just as I have). Also, I have decided to include some books which I have not yet read, but which have been recommended to me by others (e.g., colleagues, clients, etc.). Please do your own research regarding any book that interests you in order to determine if it might be a good fit for you. I intend this list as a starting place, not as something to be blindly followed.
Some books are less (or more) appropriate for certain stages of growth, certain struggles, etc. If you are a Transitions client I invite you to ask me any questions you have regarding particular books during your next counseling session.
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The 16 Personality TypesProfiles, Theory, & Type Development
Dr. A.J. Drenth
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24/6A Prescription for a Healthier, Happier Life
Matthew Sleeth
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After the AffairHealing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful
Janis A. Spring
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The All-or-Nothing MarriageHow the Best Marriages Work
Eli J. Finkel
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Anatomy of an EpidemicMagic Bullets, Psychiatric Drugs, and the Astonishing Rise of Mental Illness in America
Robert Whitaker
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Anatomy of the SoulSurprising Connections between Neuroscience and Spiritual Practices That Can Transform Your Life and Relationships
Curt Thompson
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The Anger WorkbookAn Interactive Guide to Anger Management
Les Carter
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Are Christians HumanAn Exploration of True Spirituality
Nigel M. De S. Cameron
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Same Book, Different Title: Complete in Christ: Rediscovering Jesus and Ourselves
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The Art and Science of ArrivalTanya Lapointe
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Bad TherapyWhy the Kids Aren’t Growing Up
Abigail Shrier
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The Beatryce ProphecyKate DiCamillo
Fiction
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The Big WavePearl S. Buck
Fiction
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BioethicsA Primer for Christians
Gilbert Meilaender
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BittersweetHow Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole
Susan Cain
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The Body Keeps the ScoreBrain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Bessel van der Kolk
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Bold LoveDan B. Allender and Tremper Longman III
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BoundariesWhen to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life
Henry Cloud and John Townsend
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Boundaries WorkbookWhen to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life
Henry Cloud and John Townsend
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Boundaries in DatingHow Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
Henry Cloud and John Townsend
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Boundaries in Dating WorkbookHenry Cloud and John Townsend
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Boundaries in MarriageUnderstanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships
Henry Cloud and John Townsend
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Boundaries in Marriage WorkbookHenry Cloud and John Townsend
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The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the HorseCharlie Mackesy
Fiction
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Bringing Sex into FocusThe Quest for Sexual Integrity
Caroline J. Simon
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Calvin and HobbesThe Complete Box Set
Bill Watterson
Fiction
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Celebrate the TemporaryClyde H. Reid
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A Celebration of SexA Guide to Enjoying God’s Gift of Sexual Intimacy
Doug Rosenau
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Celibate SexMusings on Being Loved, Single, Twisted, and Holy
Abbie Smith
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Changes That Heal WorkbookHenry Cloud
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Changes That HealThe Four Shifts That Make Everything Better...And That Everyone Can Do
Henry Cloud
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Clowning in RomeReflections on Solitude, Celibacy, Prayer, and Contemplation
Henri J. M. Nouwen
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Codependent No MoreHow to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Melody Beattie
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Codependent No More WorkbookMelody Beattie
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The Course of LoveA Novel
Alain de Botton
Fiction
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The Creative ActA Way of Being
Rick Rubin
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The Creative HabitLearn It and Use It for Life
Twyla Tharp
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The Cry of the SoulHow Our Emotions Reveal Our Deepest Questions About God
Dan B. Allender and Tremper Longman III
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Cupid’s Poisoned ArrowFrom Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships
Marnia Robinson
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Daring GreatlyHow the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Brené Brown
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The Dating ManifestoA Drama-Free Plan for Pursuing Marriage with Purpose
Lisa Anderson
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Deep WorkRules for Focused Success in a Distracted World
Cal Newport
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Digital MinimalismChoosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World
Cal Newport
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The Disciplined HeartLove, Destiny & Imagination
Caroline J. Simon
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The Divided Brain and the Search for MeaningIain McGilchrist
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Domestic MonasteryRonald Rolheiser
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DuneFrank Herbert
Fiction
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The Eden ProjectIn Search of the Magical Other
James Hollis
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Embracing Rhythms of Work and RestFrom Sabbath to Sabbatical and Back Again
Ruth Haley Barton
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EssentialismThe Disciplined Pursuit of Less
Greg McKeown
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Everything BeautifulA Coloring Book for Reflection and Inspiration
WaterBrook
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Faith, Hope and CarnageNick Cave and Seán O’Hagan
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Faith, Hope, LoveJosef Pieper
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Fill These HeartsGod, Sex, and the Universal Longing
Christopher West
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Finding Meaning in the Second Half of LifeHow to Finally, Really Grow Up
James Hollis
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The Fisher King and the Handless MaidenUnderstanding the Wounded Feeling Function in Masculine and Feminine Psychology
Robert A. Johnson
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The Gift of TherapyAn Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients
Irvin Yalom
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The Gifts of ImperfectionLet Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
Brené Brown
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Good GriefGranger E. Westberg
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The Great DivorceC. S. Lewis
Fiction
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The Great Sex RescueThe Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended
Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach and Joanna Sawatsky
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A Grief ObservedC. S. Lewis
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Hannah CoulterA Novel (Port William)
Wendell Berry
Fiction
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Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma SurvivorsOvercoming Internal Self-Alienation
Janina Fisher
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Here I AmNow What on Earth Should I Be Doing?
Quentin Schultze
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HeUnderstanding Masculine Psychology
Robert A. Johnson
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The Highly Sensitive PersonHow to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You
Elaine N. Aron
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Hold Me TightSeven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Sue Johnson
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Hold On to Your KidsWhy Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers
Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Maté
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How To Get A Date Worth KeepingBe Dating In Six Months Or Your Money Back
Henry Cloud
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How ToAbsurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems
Randall Munroe
Fiction
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How to Change Your MindWhat the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence
Michael Pollan
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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough”
Brené Brown
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Introduction to the Internal Family Systems ModelRichard C. Schwartz
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Internal Family Systems TherapyRichard C. Schwartz
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In Tune With The WorldA Theory of Festivity
Josef Pieper
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In the House of Tom BombadilC. R. Wiley
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The Inner Voice of LoveA Journey Through Anguish to Freedom
Henri J. M. Nouwen
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Inner WorkUsing Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth
Robert A. Johnson
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IntimacyEssays in Pastoral Psychology
Henri J. M. Nouwen
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The Intimate MysteryCreating Strength and Beauty in Your Marriage
Dan B. Allender and Tremper Longman III
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The Introvert AdvantageHow Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World
Marti Olsen Laney
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The Invisible PartnerHow the Male and Female in Each of Us Affects Our Relationships
John A. Sanford
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Invitation to a JourneyA Road Map for Spiritual Formation
M. Robert Mulholland Jr.
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Jayber CrowA Novel (Port William)
Wendell Berry
Fiction
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King, Warrior, Magician, LoverRediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine
Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette
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The Language of Letting GoDaily Meditations on Codependency
Melody Beattie
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A Lasting PromiseThe Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage
Scott Stanley, Daniel Trathen, Savanna McCain, and Milton Bryan
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Leading with a LimpTake Full Advantage of Your Most Powerful Weakness
Dan B. Allender
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Leading with a Limp WorkbookDiscover How to Turn Your Struggles into Strengths
Dan B. Allender and Matthew D. Baugher
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LeisureThe Basis of Culture
Josef Pieper
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Listening to Your LifeDaily Meditations with Frederick Buechner
Frederick Buechner
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Living Between WorldsFinding Personal Resilience in Changing Times
James Hollis
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Lost OceanAn Inky Adventure and Coloring Book
Johanna Basford
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The HobbitJ.R.R. Tolkien
Fiction
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The Fellowship of the RingBeing the First Part of The Lord of the Rings
J.R.R. Tolkien
Fiction
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The Two TowersBeing the Second Part of The Lord of the Rings
J.R.R. Tolkien
Fiction
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The Return of the KingBeing the Third Part of The Lord of the Rings
J.R.R. Tolkien
Fiction
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Love SenseThe Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships
Sue Johnson
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Loving ObedienceChild Training Techniques that Work
William J. Richardson
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The Man’s Guide to WomenScientifically Proven Secrets from the Love Lab About What Women Really Want
John Gottman
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Married for GodMaking Your Marriage the Best It Can Be
Christopher Ash
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The Master and His EmissaryThe Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World
Iain McGilchrist
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Mating in CaptivityUnlocking Erotic Intelligence
Esther Perel
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The Meaning of MarriageFacing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God
Timothy Keller and Kathy Keller
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Men, Women, and the Mystery of LovePractical Insights from John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility
Edward Sri
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Microdosing for Health, Healing, and Enhanced PerformanceJames Fadiman and Jordan Gruber
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Mindful SilenceThe Heart of Christian Contemplation
Phileena Heuertz
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MindsetThe New Psychology of Success
Carol Dweck
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MindsightThe New Science of Personal Transformation
Daniel J. Siegel
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The Mingling of SoulsGod’s Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption
Matt Chandler
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A Monster CallsInspired by an idea from Siobhan Dowd
Patrick Ness
Fiction
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My Name Is Asher LevChaim Potok
Fiction
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The Gift of Asher LevChaim Potok
Fiction
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My True TypeClarifying Your Personality Type, Preferences & Functions
Dr. A.J. Drenth
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Naming the AnimalsAn Invitation to Creativity
Stephen Roach
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The Horse and His BoyThe Chronicles of Narnia, Book 3
C. S. Lewis
Fiction
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The Nature FixWhy Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier, and More Creative
Florence Williams
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No Man Is an IslandThomas Merton
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The Not So Big HouseA Blueprint for the Way We Really Live
Sarah Susanka and Kira Obolensky
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The NovelistA Novel
Jordan Castro
Fiction
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On the Meaning of SexJ. Budziszewski
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