Books to Help You Live Well
Reading can be a wonderful way of engaging with oneself, with relationships and with life. Below I list books across a broad range of themes (e.g., relationships, personal growth, theology, philosophy, etc.), with the shared elements of illustrating truth about the human experience and somehow being helpful in living well. I have included some works of fiction because of the way that good stories can capture our imaginations and help us to grapple with what it means to be human and to be whole.
Please Note: My including a book does not automatically mean that I endorse all aspects of it—just like with people, books are imperfect. With any of these, I encourage you to look for the elements that are helpful, recognizing that you will undoubtedly encounter things you disagree with (just as I have). Also, I have decided to include some books which I have not yet read, but which have been recommended to me by others (e.g., colleagues, clients, etc.). Please do your own research regarding any book that interests you in order to determine if it might be a good fit for you. I intend this list as a starting place, not as something to be blindly followed.
Some books are less (or more) appropriate for certain stages of growth, certain struggles, etc. If you are a Transitions client I invite you to ask me any questions you have regarding particular books during your next counseling session.
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The 16 Personality Types
Profiles, Theory, & Type Development
Dr. A.J. Drenth
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24/6
A Prescription for a Healthier, Happier Life
Matthew Sleeth
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After the Affair
Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful
Janis A. Spring
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The All-or-Nothing Marriage
How the Best Marriages Work
Eli J. Finkel
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Anatomy of an Epidemic
Magic Bullets, Psychiatric Drugs, and the Astonishing Rise of Mental Illness in America
Robert Whitaker
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Anatomy of the Soul
Surprising Connections between Neuroscience and Spiritual Practices That Can Transform Your Life and Relationships
Curt Thompson
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The Anger Workbook
An Interactive Guide to Anger Management
Les Carter
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Are Christians Human
An Exploration of True Spirituality
Nigel M. De S. Cameron
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Same Book, Different Title: Complete in Christ: Rediscovering Jesus and Ourselves
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The Art and Science of Arrival
Tanya Lapointe
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The Big Wave
Pearl S. Buck
Fiction
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Bioethics
A Primer for Christians
Gilbert Meilaender
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Bittersweet
How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole
Susan Cain
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The Body Keeps the Score
Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Bessel van der Kolk
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Bold Love
Dan B. Allender and Tremper Longman III
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Boundaries
When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life
Henry Cloud and John Townsend
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Boundaries Workbook
When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life
Henry Cloud and John Townsend
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Boundaries in Dating
How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships
Henry Cloud and John Townsend
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Boundaries in Dating Workbook
Henry Cloud and John Townsend
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Boundaries in Marriage
Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships
Henry Cloud and John Townsend
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Boundaries in Marriage Workbook
Henry Cloud and John Townsend
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The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse
Charlie Mackesy
Fiction
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Bringing Sex into Focus
The Quest for Sexual Integrity
Caroline J. Simon
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Calvin and Hobbes
The Complete Box Set
Bill Watterson
Fiction
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Celebrate the Temporary
Clyde H. Reid
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A Celebration of Sex
A Guide to Enjoying God’s Gift of Sexual Intimacy
Doug Rosenau
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Celibate Sex
Musings on Being Loved, Single, Twisted, and Holy
Abbie Smith
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Changes That Heal Workbook
Henry Cloud
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Changes That Heal
The Four Shifts That Make Everything Better...And That Everyone Can Do
Henry Cloud
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Clowning in Rome
Reflections on Solitude, Celibacy, Prayer, and Contemplation
Henri J. M. Nouwen
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Codependent No More
How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Melody Beattie
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Codependent No More Workbook
Melody Beattie
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The Course of Love
A Novel
Alain de Botton
Fiction
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The Creative Habit
Learn It and Use It for Life
Twyla Tharp
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The Cry of the Soul
How Our Emotions Reveal Our Deepest Questions About God
Dan B. Allender and Tremper Longman III
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Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow
From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships
Marnia Robinson
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Daring Greatly
How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Brené Brown
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The Dating Manifesto
A Drama-Free Plan for Pursuing Marriage with Purpose
Lisa Anderson
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Deep Work
Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World
Cal Newport
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Digital Minimalism
Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World
Cal Newport
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The Disciplined Heart
Love, Destiny & Imagination
Caroline J. Simon
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The Divided Brain and the Search for Meaning
Iain McGilchrist
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Domestic Monastery
Ronald Rolheiser
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Dune
Frank Herbert
Fiction
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The Eden Project
In Search of the Magical Other
James Hollis
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Essentialism
The Disciplined Pursuit of Less
Greg McKeown
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Everything Beautiful
A Coloring Book for Reflection and Inspiration
WaterBrook
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Faith, Hope and Carnage
Nick Cave and Seán O’Hagan
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Faith, Hope, Love
Josef Pieper
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Fill These Hearts
God, Sex, and the Universal Longing
Christopher West
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Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life
How to Finally, Really Grow Up
James Hollis
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The Fisher King and the Handless Maiden
Understanding the Wounded Feeling Function in Masculine and Feminine Psychology
Robert A. Johnson
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The Gift of Therapy
An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients
Irvin Yalom
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The Gifts of Imperfection
Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
Brené Brown
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Good Grief
Granger E. Westberg
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The Great Divorce
C. S. Lewis
Fiction
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The Great Sex Rescue
The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended
Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach and Joanna Sawatsky
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A Grief Observed
C. S. Lewis
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Hannah Coulter
A Novel (Port William)
Wendell Berry
Fiction
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Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors
Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation
Janina Fisher
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Here I Am
Now What on Earth Should I Be Doing?
Quentin Schultze
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He
Understanding Masculine Psychology
Robert A. Johnson
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The Highly Sensitive Person
How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You
Elaine N. Aron
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Hold Me Tight
Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Sue Johnson
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How To
Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems
Randall Munroe
Fiction
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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)
Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough”
Brené Brown
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Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model
Richard C. Schwartz
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Internal Family Systems Therapy
Richard C. Schwartz
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In Tune With The World
A Theory of Festivity
Josef Pieper
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The Inner Voice of Love
A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom
Henri J. M. Nouwen
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Inner Work
Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth
Robert A. Johnson
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Intimacy
Essays in Pastoral Psychology
Henri J. M. Nouwen
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The Intimate Mystery
Creating Strength and Beauty in Your Marriage
Dan B. Allender and Tremper Longman III
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The Introvert Advantage
How Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World
Marti Olsen Laney
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The Invisible Partner
How the Male and Female in Each of Us Affects Our Relationships
John A. Sanford
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Invitation to a Journey
A Road Map for Spiritual Formation
M. Robert Mulholland Jr.
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Jayber Crow
A Novel (Port William)
Wendell Berry
Fiction
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King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine
Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette
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The Language of Letting Go
Daily Meditations on Codependency
Melody Beattie
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A Lasting Promise
The Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage
Scott Stanley, Daniel Trathen, Savanna McCain, and Milton Bryan
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Leading with a Limp
Take Full Advantage of Your Most Powerful Weakness
Dan B. Allender
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Leading with a Limp Workbook
Discover How to Turn Your Struggles into Strengths
Dan B. Allender and Matthew D. Baugher
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Leisure
The Basis of Culture
Josef Pieper
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Listening to Your Life
Daily Meditations with Frederick Buechner
Frederick Buechner
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Living Between Worlds
Finding Personal Resilience in Changing Times
James Hollis
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Lost Ocean
An Inky Adventure and Coloring Book
Johanna Basford
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The Hobbit
J.R.R. Tolkien
Fiction
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The Fellowship of the Ring
Being the First Part of The Lord of the Rings
J.R.R. Tolkien
Fiction
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The Two Towers
Being the Second Part of The Lord of the Rings
J.R.R. Tolkien
Fiction
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The Return of the King
Being the Third Part of The Lord of the Rings
J.R.R. Tolkien
Fiction
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Love Sense
The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships
Sue Johnson
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Loving Obedience
Child Training Techniques that Work
William J. Richardson
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The Man’s Guide to Women
Scientifically Proven Secrets from the Love Lab About What Women Really Want
John Gottman
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Married for God
Making Your Marriage the Best It Can Be
Christopher Ash
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The Master and His Emissary
The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World
Iain McGilchrist
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Mating in Captivity
Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
Esther Perel
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The Meaning of Marriage
Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God
Timothy Keller and Kathy Keller
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Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love
Practical Insights from John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility
Edward Sri
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Mindful Silence
The Heart of Christian Contemplation
Phileena Heuertz
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Mindset
The New Psychology of Success
Carol Dweck
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Mindsight
The New Science of Personal Transformation
Daniel J. Siegel
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The Mingling of Souls
God’s Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption
Matt Chandler
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A Monster Calls
Inspired by an idea from Siobhan Dowd
Patrick Ness
Fiction
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My Name Is Asher Lev
Chaim Potok
Fiction
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The Gift of Asher Lev
Chaim Potok
Fiction
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My True Type
Clarifying Your Personality Type, Preferences & Functions
Dr. A.J. Drenth
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Naming the Animals
An Invitation to Creativity
Stephen Roach
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The Horse and His Boy
The Chronicles of Narnia, Book 3
C. S. Lewis
Fiction
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No Man Is an Island
Thomas Merton
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The Not So Big House
A Blueprint for the Way We Really Live
Sarah Susanka and Kira Obolensky
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On the Meaning of Sex
J. Budziszewski
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On the Road with Saint Augustine
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James K. A. Smith
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Only the Lover Sings
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Josef Pieper
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Owning Your Own Shadow
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Parenting Teens With Love And Logic
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Foster Cline and Jim Fay
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Passion and Presence
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Maci Daye
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Florence Littauer
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Susan Cain
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Lauren F. Winner
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Reality Is Not What It Seems
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Carlo Rovelli
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Receiving the Day
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Dorothy C. Bass
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The Restless Heart
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The Return of the Prodigal Son
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Henri J. M. Nouwen
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Rising Strong
Brené Brown
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Sacred Marriage
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Gary Thomas
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The Sacred Search
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Gary Thomas
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9 Must-Have Conversations for a Doubt-Free Wedding Day
Gary Thomas, Steve Wilke and Rebecca Wilke
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Scattered
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Gabor Maté
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Secret Garden
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Sensorimotor Psychotherapy
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Pat Ogden and Janina Fisher
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The Seven Storey Mountain
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Thomas Merton
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A Severe Mercy
Sheldon Vanauken
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Sex for Christians
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Lewis B. Smedes
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Robert A. Johnson
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Singled Out
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Christine Colon and Bonnie Field
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Soul Virgins
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Doug Rosenau and Michael Todd Wilson
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The Soul of Desire
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The Soul of Shame
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Curt Thompson
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Soulful Spirituality
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Out of the Silent Planet
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C. S. Lewis
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Spirituality and the Awakening Self
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David G. Benner
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A Spirituality of Living
Henri J. M. Nouwen
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Stolen Focus
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Johann Hari
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Stories of Your Life and Others
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Strange Planet
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Surrender to Love
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David G. Benner
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There’s No Such Thing as a Dragon
Jack Kent
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Thing Explainer
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Randall Munroe
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This Momentary Marriage
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John Piper
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Robert A. Johnson
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Trauma and the Body
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Pag Ogden, Kekuni Minton and Clare Pain
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The Treasure Tree
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John Trent and Gary Smalley
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True Love Dates
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Debra Fileta
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Turn My Mourning into Dancing
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Henri J. M. Nouwen
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The Ugly Duckling
Hans Christian Andersen
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Under Saturn’s Shadow
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James Hollis
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The Velveteen Rabbit
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Wallace the Brave
Will Henry
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“We’e Just Friends” and Other Dating Lies
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Chuck Milian
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Robert A. Johnson
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What Matters Most
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What the Night Sings
Vesper Stamper
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When the Body Says No
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Gabor Maté
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The Whole-Brain Child
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Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
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Why Marriages Succeed or Fail
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John Gottman
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With Open Hands
Henri J. M. Nouwen
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Women Who Run With the Wolves
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Clarissa Pinkola Estes
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The Wounded Heart
Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse
Dan B. Allender
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The Wounded Heart Workbook
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Dan B. Allender
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Wrestling with God
Finding Hope and Meaning in Our Daily Struggles to Be Human
Ronald Rolheiser
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Yes to Life
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Viktor E. Frankl
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You Are What You Love
The Spiritual Power of Habit
James K. A. Smith
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Your Personality Tree
Florence Littauer
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