Transitions Individual & Couple’s Counseling and Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy: Harrisonburg, Virginia — Make Changes that Last

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1101982934Is there any benefit to believing that adversity helps you grow while you are neck-deep in it?
One way to answer this is to find people in stressful circumstances and ask them if they see any benefit in the situation. If they do, does it lead to a better outcome? The answer appears to be yes.
…The biggest reason is that seeing the upside of adversity changes the way people cope. …People who find benefit in their difficulties report more purpose in life, hope for the future, and confidence in their ability to cope with the current stress in their lives. They then are more likely to take proactive steps to deal with the stress and to make better use of social support. They also are less likely to rely on avoidance strategies to escape their stress. Even their biological response to stress is different. In the laboratory, people who can find a benefit in their struggles show a healthier physical response to stress and a faster recovery. All this—rather than some sort of magical thinking—is why benefit-finding predicts outcomes as far-ranging as less depression, higher marital satisfaction, fewer heart attacks, and stronger immune function.
I have to admit that even as I write about this research, I struggle with the term benefit-finding. It bothers me in the same way that I’ve witnessed others object to post-traumatic growth, or to the cliché “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” To my ears, benefit-finding sounds like the kind of positive thinking that tries to scurry away from the reality of suffering: Let’s look for the bright side so we don’t have to feel the pain or think about the loss.
But despite my own allergic reaction, this research doesn’t suggest that the most helpful mindset is a…insistence on turning everything bad into something good. Rather, it’s the ability to notice the good as you cope with things that are difficult. In fact, being able to see both the good and the bad is associated with better long-term outcomes than focusing purely on the upside. For example, people who report both negative and positive changes after a terrorist attack are more likely to sustain post-traumatic growth than those who initially report only positive changes, such as not taking life for granted anymore. The same is true for medical scares. Survivors of a life-threatening disease, as well as their caregivers, are more likely to experience lasting personal and relationship growth if they report both benefits, such as learning to live in the present moment, and costs, such as fatigue or fears about the future. Looking for the good in stress helps most when you are also able to realistically acknowledge whatever suffering is also present.

The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It, by Kelly McGonigal

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