Ask Sean YouTube Videos
Managing Anger in the Heat of the Moment
“How Should I Respond in the Moment When Feeling Hurt?: Sean, I am wondering if you could unpack what strength looks like when confronted with a person who is treating you in a way that is hurtful. Perhaps a different angle on that—how should anger be handled in the moment? In a prior video, you explained that anger needs to be purified through sorrow. I agree. However, I struggle with handling that anger in the moment, especially when confronted with someone who is pushing my buttons, intentionally or unintentionally. I was once coached to ‘meet their intensity,’ to avoid becoming a doormat. At times, that has been helpful advice in my life and helped me to be more assertive. At other times, it has led me to being too aggressive in response to unintentional hurts. It has even caused me to hurt people in my life I care about, as I tend to come back harder in these situations. I have no doubt this response is related to my own past hurts, especially in dealing with an aggressive father/older brother growing up and an emotionally unstable mother. For further clarity, I am thinking about 3 specific scenarios from the perspective of a man and husband: 1) A critical wife (not all the time, just in certain moments) 2) A workplace bully 3) A person who is just a little jerky/inconsiderate.”
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