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Let Your Fantasy About Your Partner Die

Let Your Fantasy About Your Partner Die

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Falling in love can be one of the most powerful, intoxicating experiences, and naturally we want to imagine it could continue forever (and many movies and stories are built on that longing!). And yet, inevitably, no matter how self-aware we are some of what we have fallen in love with is not the actual person of our partner, but rather who we have imagined them to be. And so, in order for true relationship—real depth—to develop our mutual fantasies of who we thought the other was must die. This necessary (and painful) death is what creates space for a deeper, lasting relationship to grow. So the invitation to each partner is to rise to the challenge of facing their own woundedness that necessitated a fantasy in the first place in order that each might become more free and more whole, and thus more able to love the other person more for who they actually are.

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