Why Do Partner’s Cheat?
If you have been cheated on, or if you are someone who has done the cheating, it can be very confusing trying to untangle the Why. Though the effects are often devastating, in many ways cheating is just another way of trying to cope with whatever unresolved wounds one has yet to face. And in that regard cheating, at its roots, often has very little to do with the relationship or the partner being cheated on. Additionally, we are never responsible for another’s choices—each person’s failures are their own responsibility to own and heal. And yet we all would be wise to examine what part we have played in any kind of relational disruption, be it cheating or otherwise (i.e., What is our contribution to the current mess?). Again, we are not responsible for their choices, but we have inevitably played a part in the overall dysfunctional dance, and recognizing our part of the dance is essential to our own healing. How we respond to the deep pain of being cheated on, or the overwhelming shame of having done the cheating, determines what kind of future we will have, not just with our partner, but with ourself. Just as we are capable of inflicting much harm on one another, we are even more capable of great growth, healing and repair.
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