Growth Requires Death (A Quote by James Hollis)
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What Matters Most: Living a More Considered Life, by James Hollis
1592404995As we know, life is a series of passages. In every passage there is a death of some sort, the death of naïveté, the death of a dependency, the death of an understanding of self and world. And, after that death, there is often a terrible “in-between,” sometimes lasting years. Our ego understandably does not cotton to the idea of anything dying; vested as it is in its own security and maintenance, it will prolong, resist, deny, as long as it can, the dismantling of the old. The terrible “in-between” is what often brings people into therapy, for they feel very much alone and ineffective in restoring the former sovereignty of the ego. I have not only gone through this process often myself, but have attended it with analysands hundreds of times. The good news and bad news are both the same: we are asked to die. Only through this death can our natural creativity enact its developmental plan. Sounds easy in theory, but not so cheery to go through. Nonetheless, if one can step back and see that this is the nature of nature, that our own psyche is directing these deaths in order to bring us to the next stage, we might, from time to time, facilitate rather than resist the creative process.
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