February 9, 2016 by Sean Slevin — Intended Audience: Christians, General
Video: 3 Minutes
A common (and mistaken) approach to forgiveness is to “forgive and forget.” This is problematic for a number of reasons ((one of which being the fact that we can’t actually forget in the way that we try to force ourselves to)), the most fundamental being that real, healing forgiveness requires that we remember. And embedded in this truth is one of the reasons that I believe God calls Christians to forgive.
February 10, 2016 by Sean Slevin — Intended Audience: Christians, General
Video: 4 Minutes
Forgiveness necessitates our remembering and grieving our pain. Fortunately, this remembering is not contingent on our remembering perfectly. To put it differently: In order to forgive we must grieve what we experienced, letting our pain matter to us, even though we know that our memory is imperfect.
February 11, 2016 by Sean Slevin — Intended Audience: Christians, General
Video: 5 Minutes
Stepping into our grief and engaging our pain ((i.e., letting our pain matter)) is very challenging (though incredibly rewarding) work. Given how scary this work can be (especially if we don’t have people in our life walking with us through it) it should come as no surprise that we are prone to developing all sorts of unhealthy coping strategies in an effort to survive without having to do the actual work of facing our pain.
February 12, 2016 by Sean Slevin — Intended Audience: Christians, General
Video: 8 Minutes
Forgiveness (and the underlying grieving required) is one of the hardest (and most important) things we can aspire to do, in part because of how it touches so many vulnerable places within us. Whether a relational infraction is little or big, the work of forgiveness (of working through our pain) is the same: We have to learn how to let our self matter, without trying to make the other person matter less. This distinction is both a hallmark of real forgiveness ((in contrast to the various forms of counterfeit forgiveness we are all prone too, which devalue self, the other, or both)) and a necessary prerequisite to reconciliation. In essence, we cannot healthily move towards reconciliation until we have worked through (or at least begun working through) the pain and grief of forgiveness.
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