Transitions Counseling Blog
The Blog Archive contains a complete list of posts.
March 9, 2015 (Updated Jun 29, 2019) by Sean Slevin — Intended Audience: Married, Dating
Video: 6 Minutes
One of the reasons we (in our culture) can too quickly pursue divorce is that we mistakenly believe a spouse can resolve certain internal struggles for us, which in actuality can not be resolved by one’s spouse. ((I realize that there are many and complex reasons that couples divorce. My goal in this post (and video) is to speak to some common themes and dynamics in our culture. But even when these dynamics are present there very well can be additional factors at play. For example, toxic patterns such as abuse are an additional layer, that while very important (and worthwhile topics), are beyond the scope of this post and video.)) This sets up a fantasy expectation which we can end up perpetually chasing, believing that if we can just find the right person, then we will feel complete, loved, etc. Unfortunately, this dynamic often makes it harder and harder for us to see that the resolution to our pain, loneliness, etc. actually resides within ourself.
Read the Rest of This Post »
August 21, 2014 (Updated Jun 29, 2019) by Sean Slevin — Intended Audience: General, Christians
Occasionally local news agencies will contact me (as well as other counselors, I’m sure) for my opinion on some mental health topic related to whatever news item they’re working on at the time. Observing the results of this is one of many life experiences that remind me that communication is imperfect, and that we are all misunderstood at times. ((Note that it’s not necessarily that I’m misquoted (though that can happen too)–sometimes quotes of me are simply not given as much context as I wish, which can make it sound like I’m saying something more strongly than I am, or emphasizing something that is only a small piece of a larger thought process.)) ((Comic Credit: https://xkcd.com/1028/ (On the xkcd site the caption is hidden in the “tooltip” that appears when you hover your mouse over the image.) ))
Read the Rest of This Post »
March 3, 2014 (Updated Jun 29, 2019) by Sean Slevin — Intended Audience: General, Christians
Video: 8 Minutes
I believe that we were created for healthy, peaceful relationships ((both being at peace with our self, as well as with others)) and this is foundational to my having great hope for our capacity to grow, change and heal. Regardless of one’s spirituality, religion or faith, I think that many of us sense on an intuitive level, deep in our gut, that humanity was meant for better things than the brokenness which we all observe and experience.
Read the Rest of This Post »
January 13, 2014 (Updated Jun 29, 2019) by Sean Slevin — Intended Audience: Married, Dating
Video: 3 Minutes
In our culture we tend to place undue pressure on the marriage relationship, filling it with expectations (conscious and unconscious) that this relationship (and our partner in particular) will meet all of our needs. This is problematic for a number of reasons, but one of the most important is how this default approach to romantic relationships inadvertently leads to a loss of self.
Read the Rest of This Post »
January 6, 2014 (Updated Mar 23, 2015) by Sean Slevin — Intended Audience: Married, Dating
Video: 4 Minutes
I am periodically asked if relationships (particularly marriages) can be repaired. Thankfully, the answer is Yes! The core requirement is that both parties still want to repair the relationship, or at least are still open to repairing the relationship. Sometimes one or both parties can be in a period of uncertainty, where they are trying to figure out their feelings regarding whether or not they still want to work on the relationship. Though that is usually a difficult season (for both parties), even in those times the door is still open to healing and reconnecting.
Read the Rest of This Post »
December 9, 2013 (Updated Jun 29, 2019) by Sean Slevin — Intended Audience: Married, Dating
Video: 7 Minutes
If you are a new couple (i.e., newly dating, engaged or married), and you have an awareness that relational conflict is a part of life, it can be desirable to try to find ways to prepare for those future conflicts. Nobody likes pain, and so if we can do things now to reduce future pain, that is appealing. I do think that we can do growing in the present that does positively impact our future conflicts. However, where we can get into trouble is when we focus primarily on trying to somehow prevent or avoid future conflicts–that actually ends up “feeding” our fears rather than helping us build the muscles we need for navigating conflict constructively.
Read the Rest of This Post »
December 2, 2013 (Updated Jun 1, 2016) by Sean Slevin — Intended Audience: Married, Dating
Video: 5 Minutes
Sometimes we have conflicts with those close to us (especially our partner) that seem disproportionate to the actual circumstances (e.g, an intense fight about the TV remote). We might wonder about our self and/or our partner, “Why is this such a big deal?” And we might be tempted to minimize things because we don’t (yet) understand what is going on (with us and/or our partner). However, if we’re fighting about it, then something is bothering one (or both) of us. The key is learning how to take those fights that seem to be about “nothing” and turn them into opportunities to learn more about the unidentified something that is needing to be worked through.
Read the Rest of This Post »
January 1, 2013 (Updated Jun 29, 2019) by Sean Slevin — Intended Audience: General
The beginning of the New Year can be both a time of reflecting on the past year as well as looking ahead and setting goals for the future. Often this involves making New Year’s Resolutions. This may be in part because the holidays, though they can be joyous at times, are always more imperfect than we would wish (e.g., last-minute rushing/preparing, tensions with family members, lower physical wellness regarding food, exercise and sleep). Culturally we have the tradition of making New Year’s Resolutions with some intensity (“I’m really going to stick with it this time!”). But with that there is also a cultural joke about how seldom we stick with these resolutions long-term. Perhaps we need a different way of thinking about them. ((Photo by Roland Tanglao.))
Read the Rest of This Post »
October 25, 2012 (Updated Jun 29, 2019) by Sean Slevin — Intended Audience: General
I recently had the pleasure of watching Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland ((Alice in Wonderland (2010). Image is from the scene in the movie where Alice is looking down into the rabbit hole.)) and was reflecting afterwards on how some of the themes (especially of finding oneself or becoming more oneself, and the strength that comes from such growth) relate to the counseling that I enjoy (both as a counselor, in helping others walk out their journey, and in my own counseling as a client walking out my growth journey).
Read the Rest of This Post »
April 25, 2011 (Updated Mar 23, 2015) by Sean Slevin — Intended Audience: General, Parents
This post is a little unusual in that I don’t typically do product reviews, but I have found myself repeatedly recommending these sound machines to clients for a variety of uses and so it seemed worth while to write about what a helpful addition these appliances can be to your home. ((Image from Amazon.com. Links are below.))
Read the Rest of This Post »
— 