There are many topics that bring couples in for counseling. The three areas that couples fight about the most are Intimacy, Finances and Parenting. However, in my work with couples I see another problem that I believe is a root problem under many difficulties that couples encounter. This problem is making assumptions about one’s spouse based on one’s self. While making assumptions this way seems reasonable enough, the rule of complementarities gives couples a high rate of being wrong when they make assumptions about the other based on themselves.
Posts with an Intended Audience of ‘Married’
A Common Marital Hang-up: Personality Differences
Saturday, January 15th, 2011 by Kristin SlevinIntended Audience: Married
Knowing When It’s Wise to Get Marriage Counseling
Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 by Kristin SlevinIntended Audience: Married
As the old saying goes, time is a great healer. For the most part people are resilient and can find ways through difficult times. However, there are some circumstances in which it may not be worth the potential damage to wait to get counseling. This post examines one such situation: marital problems that have gone on for longer than four months without getting any better. In order to illustrate some of the damage that can be caused by waiting to get marital help, I will use a made-up example about a fictional couple, Sally and Bill. (In order to protect our client’s confidentiality we never use client’s stories as examples.)
Couple’s Counseling: Why I Don’t Take Sides
Friday, September 18th, 2009 by Sean SlevinIntended Audience: Dating, Married
Sometimes when a couple comes in for marital counseling they both, on some level, (and perhaps only unconsciously) want the counselor to take their side and help them change their spouse. This is an interesting dynamic and one which, if I succumbed to, would actually not be good for either spouse or for their marriage. So what I seek to do is tricky: I seek to be on everyone’s side, and also no one’s side. What I mean is that I seek to be there for both spouses individually, but also be there for the marriage.
E.D. Drug Ad Critique: Cialis
Wednesday, July 15th, 2009 by Sean SlevinIntended Audience: Married, Men
(Note: This blog post contains frank discussion of male anatomy. It may not be appropriate for viewing in your workplace or in the presence of children.) Consumer Reports AdWatch has another helpful TV advertisement critique. This one is regarding Cialis, a drug for treating ED (link to the video is in the footnote).
