As the old saying goes, time is a great healer. For the most part people are resilient and can find ways through difficult times. However, there are some circumstances in which it may not be worth the potential damage to wait to get counseling. This post examines one such situation: marital problems that have gone on for longer than four months without getting any better. In order to illustrate some of the damage that can be caused by waiting to get marital help, I will use a made-up example about a fictional couple, Sally and Bill. (In order to protect our client’s confidentiality we never use client’s stories as examples.)
Knowing When It’s Wise to Get Marriage Counseling
February 24th, 2010 by Kristin SlevinIntended Audience: Married
Icicles at the Transitions Office
February 17th, 2010 by Sean SlevinIntended Audience: General
I have always been fascinated by icicles–they’re just so fantastical and otherworldly! While the snow has been pretty to watch, the frequency and quantity has meant for a lot of shoveling and rescheduling. One perk for me with all of the snow has been the increasingly enormous icicles at our office. So for a change of pace here on the Transitions blog I thought I’d write a fun post just to share a few pictures of them.
Noteworthy Posts of 2009
January 27th, 2010 by Sean SlevinIntended Audience: General
Kristin and I have a habit of taking time out in the new year (usually in January, after life gets back to normal) to reflect on the previous year and look ahead to the new year. In that vein I thought I’d share a list of some of the blog posts that proved to be popular with our readers in 2009.
What Happens After “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”?
January 13th, 2010 by Sean SlevinIntended Audience: General
For many people the holidays are “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” The wrapping up of the year with Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve is a special season in multiple ways. In addition to the historical and religious aspects of the holidays, many people also enjoy the breaking from routine, celebrating and coming together with friends and family. Though I am very much a fan of all of these things, I think it is also worthwhile to acknowledge some of the ways in which the holidays and/or post-holidays can be stressful.
Counseling with Teens (Ages 13-18): Kristin’s Approach
November 30th, 2009 by Kristin SlevinIntended Audience: Parents
One of the hallmarks of teenage behavior is the drive to define their identity apart from adult/parental influence. So while teens are mature enough to talk directly about their problems, it is still useful to approach therapy differently than one would with adults.
Influencing Teen Driving Behavior
November 18th, 2009 by Sean SlevinIntended Audience: General, Parents
There are two informative studies in the October issue of Pediatrics that reveal: the effects that some parenting styles can have on teen driving safety, as well as the increased risk associated with teens having a vehicle of which they are the primary driver.
Counseling with Pre-Teens (Ages 10-14): Kristin’s Approach
October 28th, 2009 by Kristin SlevinIntended Audience: Parents
As parents of pre-teens know well, every child moves at a different pace. Some children feel like little teenagers at the age of nine and others still act fairly childlike until they reach their teens. How I conduct therapy with pre-teens depends on what feels comfortable to the child.
Counseling with Children (Ages 4-11): Kristin’s Approach
October 23rd, 2009 by Kristin SlevinIntended Audience: Parents
Talking is an integral part of counseling with adults. Adults are able to step back and talk about what is going on in their mental and emotional processes. Much of adult counseling is helping adults to further develop their ability to understand and manage their internal experiences. The ability to have perspective on one’s internal world does not develop for most people until they reach their teens. While children are able to describe what is going on around them and can identify feelings, for the most part they are not able to have an objective view of what is going on inside of them. Without this ability it is necessary to conduct therapy with children differently than how one would conduct therapy with an adult.
Study Finds that Predictable, Required Time Off Reaps Big Benefits
October 19th, 2009 by Sean SlevinIntended Audience: General
I recently came across an article in the Wall Street Journal (WSJ) that makes for an interesting follow-up to my post last month about the importance and difficulty of Sabbath rest. The article looks at a study published this October in the Harvard Business Review (HBR) that found that backing away from the intense, always working, 24/7 way of life yields measurable improvements in not just work quality and output but also in employee satisfaction.
Couple’s Counseling: Why I Don’t Take Sides
September 18th, 2009 by Sean SlevinIntended Audience: Dating, Married
Sometimes when a couple comes in for marital counseling they both, on some level, (and perhaps only unconsciously) want the counselor to take their side and help them change their spouse. This is an interesting dynamic and one which, if I succumbed to, would actually not be good for either spouse or for their marriage. So what I seek to do is tricky: I seek to be on everyone’s side, and also no one’s side. What I mean is that I seek to be there for both spouses individually, but also be there for the marriage.
